Confusing Circus - An extracted story

...I handed my passport and boarding pass to the border police officer at the airport. He typed my name into his computer and kept glancing at me. I said, "I have renewed my passport, and they took such a bad photo that no one would recognize me." He smiled and said, "Ah, then you really are that person." I smiled back, "Yes, exactly!"

He put my passport into his file. "Okay, please come with me. You are not allowed to leave the country."

· "Not allowed to travel? Why is that?" He did not answer and took me to an office next to the border control counters. They took my phone number and confiscated my passport, telling me that they couldn't help me and that I had to go to the border control office.

The next day, I went to the border control office. Everything was in order, except the building itself was a mess. Several halls and rooms had been merged into an office Building without much change to the facade. I went to my department, a small room at the end of a hall, about the size of a bedroom, and asked what was going on.

"... Yes, we can't help you, Mr. Diba. There is only a file number here, and it's not even here... It's in Ahwaz!"

· "So you don't even know why my passport was taken? Can I get my passport back now?"
· "No, you must first retrieve your file number from the system, then we can hand over your passport."

I knew what this was about! It was about my Bitcoin mining farm. When they shut down my operation, they also imposed a fine that I had to pay. I called a friend and explained the situation. He gave me advice: "... Put on something proper and go to court in a suit. They are all villagers. They will respect you if you look good and well-groomed..."

I got ready and drove from Tehran to Ahwaz in southern Iran. I went straight to the judge's office.

"I spoke with you on the phone the day before yesterday... My name is Diba!" and went to his desk and shook his hand. He looked at me with a small grin: "Hello, you are finally here... I was about to give your name to Interpol... We've been looking for you for eight months..." He kept talking and offered me a chair. "... Yes, and we also wanted to arrest your landlady, but..."

I interrupted him: "Oh, leave the poor woman alone. She is like a mother to me. Instead of punishing her, punish me." The judge looked at his colleague, who said to the judge: "See! She came to us and spoke badly about Mr. Diba, and he says she is like his mother..." The judge looked at me: "You are a good person!" and called down the hall for the janitor. The janitor came: "Yes, Mr. Baluchi." The judge responded: "Please bring Mr. Diba a cup of tea."

Suddenly everything became pleasant, like a friendly dinner. We chatted for hours, drank tea, and ate cake.

The judge said: "Look, Mr. Diba, you have to pay a fine of almost four billion Toman. But who wants you to pay so much to the state treasury? If I could, I would arrange for you to pay nothing. I would simply pardon you..." I interrupted him quickly: "Yes, why don't you do that? I have done nothing wrong. My equipment was all bought in Iran and was legal. Where is the mistake... and now I'm here..."

He replied: "Yes, it's not that simple. I've been looking for you for eight months and brought you here with an arrest warrant. I didn't bring you here with an arrest warrant to pardon you. We have to handle this cleverly, otherwise it will be noticeable... and your goods were not cleared through customs."

This smelled like an offer to me, because my goods were from an Iranian factory. What should be cleared through customs for a domestic production? And what should be done cleverly? "Okay, Mr. Baluchi, what is your suggestion? I don't know the details. You are the judge, so you give the direction!"

They looked at each other, and his colleague said: "Yes, Mr. Diba, we can't do much. We can at most write that the goods were defective at the time of confiscation. With this letter, you can go to the customs office and apply for a reduction in the value of the goods. Since your fine according to the penal code is three times the value of the goods, you can reduce your fine to 600 million or less if you can reduce the value of the goods from 1.3 billion to 200 million."

I could already see that uninvited offers were being made again. "Okay, Mr. baluchi. Isn't it better if we take a break and resume our meeting in an hour? If I don't eat anything, I'll feel sick... Where can I eat a Nimru?"

He looked at me: "You want to eat Nimru... You come here from Germany and want bread with eggs?! Mr. Diba, behave like a social person..."

- "Confusing Circus" book release by Aria Farmanfarmanian scheduled for late 2024